Existentialism

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 8, 2016 by specsucks

What is the struggle against good and evil like I struggle against spec.  Evil must be defeated but once evil is gone will the good become the evil?  What is even reality like could it not be real?  These are topics that I grasped with in CC.  I am still haunted by them every day.  Sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth it.  Because maybe spec is only a homunculus in my brain.   What is meaning in defeating spec if there is no meaning. or is man supposed to defeat Christ like Niche.    A great thinker in the mind columbia creates, but spec destroys,but I destroy the destroyer, so who will destroy the destroyer destroyer.  Maybe the USS William P Lawrence.  but he who destroys destruction is himself a creator and god of his own universe like  a pheonix from the flames.

Only history will tell the tale of a great man who stood up to the demon.  Till spec is ashes.  Till spec is ashes.

grammar and semantics in modern race-baiting

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on December 7, 2015 by specsucks

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much blood and ink has been spilled over the above facebook post, but will will not rehash the debate that keeps lambo zang up at night furiously typing into the bwog comments section.

Instead let us take a look at the surprisingly OVER looked question which will haunt us immemorial.  Consider exhibit A:

Does anyone have a CC section taught by a professor of color.

Let us parse.  Anyone is the subject.  Does ANYONE have a cc section taught by a professor of color.  At first glance, this seems to be a simple question.  Perhaps the author is conducting a poll of the relative frequency of instructors of color amongst the class of 2016 to validate the supposedly official statistics that columbia releases to relieve themselves of the burden of white guilt.  (this would be an admirable cause, but sadly it is not what our friend is doing here).  However, this text is complicated by the addition of the second section.

Section 2: “Flexible on time/days”.

Suddenly the curtain has been pulled back.  The true intent behind this question is revealed.  Close reading of the text shows that in fact the question is not simply informational, and that one can infer an attempt to coordinate some sort of activity involving the author as well as the aforementioned instructor of color.

Section 3: “The teacup”

The teacup just reaffirms her support for tea.

Exhibit B: The supportive friend

Everyone has a friend, or if they do not they wish they had a friend so for the purposes of our analysis we can assume they have a friend.  But does your friend unconditionally shower praise upon you for performing an informal internet survey?  Most likely not, unless you paid them to, but a paid friend is not actually a friend you should have learned that by now.

The 100 here has also been suggested by Ruden, et. al.  to be an answer to the question rather than an exclamation of praise.  However, modern research has cast doubt on the idea that a single student would be enrolled in 100 classess taught by professors of color simultaneously.  Further attempts to tally the hundreds results a grand total of nearly a thousand, which does not make the proposition any more tenable.

Exhibit C: “The magnum opus”

Suddenly, our heroine returns to settle the score.  Although we know that authorial intent is irrelevant,  here the author comes to clarify, with the phrase “more specifically I am asking…”  This offers a glimmer of hope that we will be able to understand what she is saying, but nay, it is a false hope.  Several fetal sentences have been grafted together into a chimeral behemoth.  Attached to the tail is the phrase “it is important to my health and my life thanks”.  This indicates that the beast it is attached to is personally important to her physical or mental well-being, or perhaps just necessary for the ritual known as “life thanks” (also known as saying grace).  But what exactly is so important to her “health” and “life thanks”?  Clearly it involves some sort of “switch[ing] sections w[ith] me”, but the exact nature of the the switch, and the other parties involved, remains mysterious.  Three possible interpretations have been advanced by various levels of Aegean thought.

The first interpretation suggests that the author began with the intent to switch sections with a white person who is in a CC section with a Professor of color.   Notice that her stance has evolved since the original post.  Not only has she narrowed the search to switch with only white people (white hispanics likely remain in a grey area as always), but additionally she has decided that the instructor must be a Professor (it’s unclear if adjunct professors count).  However, according to this interpretation,  she amends her options, and considers that she would also be willing to switch with a student of color.  Note that she does not require the student of color to have a CC professor of color.   It seems that the color is commutative.

The second camp has suggested that the first camp is a bunch of morons for thinking that’s what she meant.  They suggest instead that the addtional group of students of color to which she is extending the offer of the switch is also bound to the requirements of having an instructor of color and also it cant just be any old instructor its gotta be a professor.  This group advances the argument that she is colorblind, and so would not discriminate against whichever student she switches with.  White and black students follow the same rule that they need a black CC professor, and so they can live in harmony together.

The third camp thinks the first two camps are a bunch of imbeciles. To this camp, the sentence is grammatically clear, and it is obvious to them that  “another student of color” is part of the direct object, not the subject.  Read this way, the author is suggesting that a white person who has a professor of color must switch places with any person of color (including the author herself). Likely expressing a form of OCD where like colors must be organized together, this swap would indubitably improve her quality of life thanks. You are very welcome.

Who is right in the end I do not know sometime things are unknown because nobody knows them.  Unfortunately we cannot rely on the author to clarify further because that’s what she did and it just made things more confusing so maybe she has a future writing postmodern philosophy.

ps. i just squinted and looked at the coffee cup and it kinda looks like a thumbs up so maybe it’s a hidden message

Specsucks breaks the columbia cs cheating scandal

Posted in Uncategorized on October 26, 2015 by specsucks

once again specsucks breaks the scandals before spec puts on their sandals.  We have received a leak tip that there is a huge scandal brewing about a TA cheating with a student.  Just like fin cheated with a dean we have conclusive proof that there is more cheating going on with the computer nerds.  Our expert nerd source has told us that they were cheating on each other and doing dirty things together, like cheating on the homework assignment.   If you’ve ever seen the movie “Easy A” then you know what I am talking about.  Consider this baskin robins because spec and bwog got SCOOPED again.

The trustees should not bow to toe nibbling apple polishers

Posted in Uncategorized on October 10, 2015 by specsucks

Today i was rooting through the recycling bin in front of schermerhorn and I found a copy of the spec.   What a serindipitus occasion for me to see my old nemesis.  Now what do these namby pamby bannana hustlers have to say this time?

They think that the trustees should intervene to protect student press . Now it is my opinion that the only press that the trustees should intervene to protect is the BENCH PRESS because let’s be real the football team is not as swole this year as they were even a year and a half ago.  I think that a lack of motivations makes these guys think they can cut back on working their pecs and delts and somehow make it up with extra work on their lats and traps.  Amateurs.

Spec is dum because it doesn’t take a moron to tell that spec wants more protection for student press because they ARE student press. so put two plus two together to see that that is the only reason they are supporting the student press.  They are scared that bollinger will tell them not to cover events and they have to because they are funded directly from the university so they can’t bite the teet that they suckle upon, unlike specsucks which is funded through darknet drug markets so it cannot be shut down.  If we can cover all the news like achmadinajad that spec doesn’t have the balls to cover and so if they are restricted they cannot compete with specsucks in a free market so they will crumble just like paciao.

probably the university just wants spec to be replaced with specsucks and that is why they made up rules so you can’t cover protests which disrupt university function like when achmadinajad came to campus.  All specsucks needs to do is funnel drug money to the underground opposition in columbia while the administration holds spec hostage in their reporting on achmadinajad.

Spec uncovers illegal food service fraud

Posted in Uncategorized on October 5, 2015 by specsucks

spec has been caught once again revealing the criminal underworld of columbia.  just yesterday i saw on spec the numerious felonies which are likely being commited and aided by the publicity of spec.  Spec has revealed that there is a student on campus who is running an illegal underground food smuggling operation..  While maybe it seems “cute” to you kids to run a restaurant from your dorm,  doing so is a serious criminal offence, violating numerous health and safety regulations, food code standards, zoning board regulations, tax evasion, worker safety and benefits fraud, and federal violation of criminal intent statutes.  Maybe you think it’s cute for  Reider who is in the front room, but what about the undocumented peruvian slave boy who is locked in the dishwasher.  You might wonder why spec isn’t keeping this on the DL until you realise that this is really a front for the “easy easy” as they call it on the streets.

I quote

Pith has served braised celery root soup with toasted almonds and pumpernickel crisps; seared lamb with smoked paprika, charred eggplant, and smoked salt; and rainbow trout with fennel gremolata, black currant, and chanterelle rice, among other dishes.

Can you please explain to me, who has eating burned eggplant and smoked salt as a meal.  Is it even possible to smoke salt?  Let me answer that question for you.  Yes.  Spec further drops the coded messages to drug users that they can get some of that baby kush by ringing up Hogan 4B

I think with good cooking, or good eating, you should just experience all these things that you just never thought you could before.

Spec has a history of supporting illegal activities on campus, and I hope the new york city health and safety board comes down on his ass with a fury not seen by heaven nor hell. When they are done with this kid, you won’t even remember what happened to chipotle.

GG we won

Posted in Uncategorized on May 3, 2015 by specsucks

spec got knocked out.in a unanimous decision

Barnard is burning

Posted in Uncategorized on March 4, 2015 by specsucks

All roads lead to rome, but do all leads roam to roads?  Burning man 3.0 or should i say burning woman/bear or bearwoman which sounds quite terrifiying to the likes of me (PS this is not a commentary on the quality of the fine women at barnard I am simply making an OBSERVATION).  Don’t let me get in my zone, don’t let me get in my zone, etc.  The facts remain on the ground that a grown man or woman or perhaps a child or someone in between set a fire to ollies.  Was it in revenge or did someone at ollies accidentally drop some water into the giant vat of burning oil they keep in the back  like that video i saw on reddit.   I myself had a friend who almost died.  RIP.

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