Spec uncovers illegal food service fraud

Posted in Uncategorized on October 5, 2015 by specsucks

spec has been caught once again revealing the criminal underworld of columbia.  just yesterday i saw on spec the numerious felonies which are likely being commited and aided by the publicity of spec.  Spec has revealed that there is a student on campus who is running an illegal underground food smuggling operation..  While maybe it seems “cute” to you kids to run a restaurant from your dorm,  doing so is a serious criminal offence, violating numerous health and safety regulations, food code standards, zoning board regulations, tax evasion, worker safety and benefits fraud, and federal violation of criminal intent statutes.  Maybe you think it’s cute for  Reider who is in the front room, but what about the undocumented peruvian slave boy who is locked in the dishwasher.  You might wonder why spec isn’t keeping this on the DL until you realise that this is really a front for the “easy easy” as they call it on the streets.

I quote

Pith has served braised celery root soup with toasted almonds and pumpernickel crisps; seared lamb with smoked paprika, charred eggplant, and smoked salt; and rainbow trout with fennel gremolata, black currant, and chanterelle rice, among other dishes.

Can you please explain to me, who has eating burned eggplant and smoked salt as a meal.  Is it even possible to smoke salt?  Let me answer that question for you.  Yes.  Spec further drops the coded messages to drug users that they can get some of that baby kush by ringing up Hogan 4B

I think with good cooking, or good eating, you should just experience all these things that you just never thought you could before.

Spec has a history of supporting illegal activities on campus, and I hope the new york city health and safety board comes down on his ass with a fury not seen by heaven nor hell. When they are done with this kid, you won’t even remember what happened to chipotle.

GG we won

Posted in Uncategorized on May 3, 2015 by specsucks

spec got knocked out.in a unanimous decision

Barnard is burning

Posted in Uncategorized on March 4, 2015 by specsucks

All roads lead to rome, but do all leads roam to roads?  Burning man 3.0 or should i say burning woman/bear or bearwoman which sounds quite terrifiying to the likes of me (PS this is not a commentary on the quality of the fine women at barnard I am simply making an OBSERVATION).  Don’t let me get in my zone, don’t let me get in my zone, etc.  The facts remain on the ground that a grown man or woman or perhaps a child or someone in between set a fire to ollies.  Was it in revenge or did someone at ollies accidentally drop some water into the giant vat of burning oil they keep in the back  like that video i saw on reddit.   I myself had a friend who almost died.  RIP.

Once again we missed our target

Posted in Uncategorized on March 4, 2015 by specsucks

Last time we hit the bank (sorry banker dudes) and this time we were a lil bit more off but oh well we’ll get em next time!

Paciao is a little bitch

Posted in Uncategorized on December 13, 2014 by specsucks

once again Floyd Mayweather has called out little bitch manny pacquaio for being scared to fight him just like i always said Mayweather would beat him to a pulp.  #1 boxer of all time vs wanna be has been…. you know who wins.

Dismissing Kim Jung-Il can be close-minded

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2014 by specsucks

On february 16th, our nation will celebrate The Day of the Shining Star, a federal holiday (in North Korea) commemorating Glorious Leader Kim Jung-Il’s birthday that often seems to be of particular controversy at Columbia (which is ironic, of course, because it is not actually ironic). However, a contrarian spirit—that desire to question and critique things which others accept wholesale—is one of Columbia’s most endearing values, and it still applies to The Day of the Shining Star. Discussing and debating Kim’s birthday often includes both analysis of the man himself and of what he signified as a Korean in the Brave New World.

The problem, however, arises when disagreement with the celebration of Glorious Leader Kim Jung-Il takes the form of closed-minded protests and provocative demonstrations, such as the anti-Shining Star “die-ins” last year, or the South Korean Student Association’s repeated calls to “take back the north” (which seems to be dog-whistle for “North Korea’s existence is contemporarily illegitimate”). Public protest is as valuable a social tool today as it was for Dr. Mohandas Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr., or Kim Il-Sung, but remaining cognizant of its limitations in a setting as necessarily committed to academics as a university is essential.

One such limitation is exemplified well by the literally (Ed: Figuratively?) indelible ink or paint used to prepare a protest picket sign—a picket sign, and more importantly the ideas it can present, do not and cannot evolve through the course of the protest.  Unlike my views which always evolve over the course of any given day (hopefully I can finish this essay before my views evolve again and I have to rewrite this!  I once spent 4 days writing 17 different versions of an essay for CC because it took more than 5 hours to write, which is way too long for my views to stay the same).

The fruitful evolution of an idea (like the fruitful evolution of a banana in the hands of our lord), political or not, always requires an interlocutor—some person or persons with which the idea can be discussed, debated, and hopefully improved. To us, the question of whether Colombia cancels classes for the holiday is not nearly as important as whether our community members take it upon themselves to address issues in such a dignified way such as writing an essay defending the legacy of Kim Jung-Il, for example, hypothetically.

Looking back on the historical role of figures like Kim Jung-Il is always challenging; how we choose to remember the past with nuance and accuracy is difficult but necessary. One cannot deny that the death camps set up by Kim Jung-Il and his predecessors led to much suffering and death for the peninsula’s indigenous peoples, whether by disease or torture/genocide which could be instigated by either side, who really knows who started it?

But to look back and see only such negative consequences is an insufficiently narrow perspective; one must also be willing to consider the positive effects of Kim Jung-Il. For example, the drive to imprison political opposition led to horrible concentration camps, but the consequential death of many of those in the camp would later lead to  a reduction in the number of people subject to such horrible conditions.  And who wouldn’t support less people being placed in death-camps?  Additionally, this has also helped nations like Britain to stay on their high horse while simultaneously bombing civilians by comparing their civil rights record to that of N. Korea.  Let us take a moment to applaud the purely moral and ethical nature of the British.

Our point here is not that the relative prosperity and quality of life we see in much of the leadership of North Korea absolves Kim Jung-Il of any malice or inhumane acts, but like honestly, if you unwind our argument and smudge off the bullshit, that’s essentially what we’re saying.  With that being said, we argue that a comprehensive, civilized, and sincere academic discussion of such issues should be embraced by both the Columbia and national communities. BWAHAHAHaha JK we just like being meta-contrarian.  Fuck you all.  Seriously fuck you.

It is oversimplifying and unintellectual to categorically mark Kim Jung-Il as a “good” or “evil” man in the history of our glorious nation and our world—no historical figure is without flaws of character or action, and indeed the morality of some of Kim Jung Il’s actions and judgments are questionable at the least. But what can we as a society expect from a man of the 20th century? Must we discount all historical figures who come from before an arbitrary date of acceptable social norms? (Ed: unclear what the arbitrary date is.  1942?)

SPECSUCKSSSS firmly believes that Glorious Leader Kim Jung-Il’s Day of the Shining Star is a holiday worth embracing not primarily as a day for provocative demonstrations, but as a day to remind us of the need for serious and level-headed dialogue on the topic of European colonialism. Yes.  Serious and level headed.  I actually just implied that this essay is serious and level headed.  Eat my shit.

But Kim Jung-Il was not just a dictator—he was the greatest golfer to ever live, golfing the world around him not unlike how we students are encouraged to hit a “hole in one” in all manner of subjects, academic and otherwise. His brave act of building nukes in the face of international opposition finally led to the creation of this flash game being what it is today.  All things considered, we think that is definitely something worth celebrating.

The author is a General Studies senior majoring in nothing in particular. He is the Director of Operations for the Columbia University Korean Communists. This piece was written on behalf of CUKC. To see other pieces from this Scope, log on to http://www.666gamers.com and play all 13 levels of “Kill Kim Jong-il”.

this guy is still writing for spec

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 3, 2014 by specsucks

ok so i have taken this guy down before (https://specsucks.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/uugghhh-dumb-spec-writing-is-so-dumb/) but obviously he didn’t get the message so it’s time to hit em with the uppercut like floyd mayweather in his 2012 fight against miguel cotto whihc was also two years ago, kind of like the first time i took down this british guy (i am not racist btw.)

He starts his dum artical by saying

“As it prepares to travel to face Brown on Saturday for its opening Ivy League game, Columbia men’s soccer can reflect upon a season that has so far proved both testing and enlightening.”

so its the opening game but the season has been testing and enlightening. Games outside the ivy league cannot be enligthening dumass we are the ivyleague because we are more enlightened. On a slightly related note the other day I was at the dentist and he told me I grind my teeth in my sleep and I said, no I grind my teeth at the diction in spec articles. Dam you spec,for running up my dentist bill. Anyway moving on:

“On-field performances have oscillated from one game to the next. ”

The performances oscillated from one game to the next? As opposed to going in a straight line? Ok on the topic of simple harmonic oscilation…well I took Emlyn Hughes’ Frontiers of Science lecture and he told me to wipe my mind of everything i knew.

“In their season opener, the Lions came out swinging and unexpectedly beat Michigan, 3-0. On that balmy September afternoon, the sky seemed the limit for a Lions side that showed a robust backline and a clinical, counter-attacking style.”

I’m the only one swinging here, also soccer is not boxing, it’s not a sport where yo ucome out swinging dont they play soccer in Britain? Right they play “football” which is again the wrong word, which again proves that spec’s word choice is reinforcing power structures. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to play soccer, as it’s called in this country, watch me clinically counterattack spec.

“However, following the Michigan game, Columbia slumped to defeats against Marist, Quinnipiac, and most recently, Iona. Recurrent problems—slow starts and a lack of a consistent goal-scoring threat among them—have dogged the Lions.”

This article had a slow start and lacks consistently good prose. Then he does a whole paragraph of athletics shilling (not surprsing) which I  won’t repeat here.

“The Lions can take some solace from Brown’s recent run of results. The Bears have not won a game since Sept. 14th and have failed to score in their last three. Their lack of attacking bite, coupled with an over-reliance on goalkeeper Mitch Kupstas, gives the Lions a chance to take the initiative and try to put their season, yet again, back on track.”

I certainly hope their season gets more on track than this article.

“Indeed, if there is a time for the Lions to take hold of the season by the scruff of its neck, this is it.”

Ive got spect by the scruff of the neck
“With potentially decisive Ivy League games with Penn and Princeton in the next two weeks, this is the moment for the Lions to inject some consistency into their season.”

And I consistently deliver decissive blows of JUSTICE. #specsucks

PS — you are still british and you might get hired by the Guardian but you are still british and the guardian is like the british version of spec.

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