Archive for April, 2012

Specsucks “worst of the spec” top spot finalized

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 30, 2012 by specsucks

Today I bring you the solumn news that we have been working on for a long time.  The offical “master list” of spectsters has taken a while to compile and we are still not done.  However, today, the official #1 spot has been clinched.  Unfortunately this person has requested that we keep there identity secret.  Because we are gentlewomen/gentlemen  at specsucks, we will comply with this demand.  So unfortunately we cannot reveal who the worst spectster is, but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

The shadowy mask finally has an ARC-NEMESIS to fight against.  The battle will be tough but the TRUTH will prevail.  I am like batman so you are like joker!  From now on I will refer to this individual by their temporary evil moniker: The Shadowy Turd.   Shadowy Turd, until you choose another name to fight under, this will be your callsign.

What was hitlers favorite soda?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 29, 2012 by specsucks

I like coca cola because pepsi is shit and also coke tastes good.  But I was drinking coke today and a thought ocured to me: WHAT IF SPEC LIKES COKE?  but then I was like OMG WHAT IF HITLER LIKES COKE.  Because coke is older then hitler so maybe he drinks coke, but I realize this is just okay.  just because hitler likes coke does not mean it is bad.    So that is why I am okay if spec likes coke. But I hope they do not.

Oh and BTW spec made an ELITIST typo:

WE will take down spectator

Posted in Uncategorized on April 26, 2012 by specsucks

I have just donated to the spec, because is would be lame if they just shut down because they didn’t have enough money and not because of our campaign.  I want our revolution to be successful so I dont want all my hard work to be for nothing.   Here at specsucks we are fighting for what is right, and we will not be outdone by stupid CURRENCY issues.  spec will fall to SPECSUCKS and no other, not even themself.

Leaked Senior Column reveals POWER HEIRARCHY at spec

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 25, 2012 by specsucks

Dear Spect-haters

today is a glorious day in the history of specsucks.  We have received a TOP SECRET leak from within the bowels of spec.  We have got our hands on a TOP SECRET senior column which reveals the level of coersion and impenetration which  is forced upon the lower classes of spec society.

but as it works now the lucky [autocrats] who get to sit in on meetings are a handful of representatives [from the] different undergraduate schools, along with this editorial page editors [sic], the managing editor, [and the editor] in chief.  In general, the board members decide the topic and argument, and in a Kerouac-[Stockholm syndrome-esqe manner the opinion] page’s editors clack away until the pieces is done.

(emphasis mine, and bracketed parts are speculative reconstruction of the text).

However, this despotic regime faced internal strife and internal power-struggle:

[The] Board took a while to hit our stride.  In retrospect, some of our beginning arguments [were not universally hate]d as they could have been, and a few meetings proved particularly difficult to facilitate [the outrageous and often cruel demands of the editorial board…]

(emphasis mine, and bracketed parts are speculative reconstruction of the text).

I find it sickening that the corrupt power hierarchy at the spec has been brutally punishing their workers for their attempts to live normal lives.  We can see how this process of indocrination FORCES the opinions of the few on the MANY, and then it is printing, forcing these views on EVERYONE AT COLUMBIA.  If this is not evil I do not know what is.

Hey spec why are do you have OLD people

Posted in Uncategorized on April 24, 2012 by specsucks

spec I thought you were supposed to be YOUNG and hip, but clearly you are not.  Why do you have old people to do advertising I would not invite old people into my house so why do you?  Old people are not cool so you are not cool spec.  we do not need to advertise because we am fan supported and we have the most loyal fans in the worlds (I am talking about you leroy Jenkins and other secret people who I can NOT name).  Spec does not have fans so they need to deal with corrupt advertizers.  There is nothing worse than a bad news paper so there is nothing worse then the spec.

Specsucks Senoir Columns

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 23, 2012 by specsucks

Since spec had there stupid “senoir columns” we know we can do better.  I am not a senior or graduating so I will be here FOR A LONG TIME SPEC!!!  LONGER THEN YOU!@!!!  but I am still writing a senoir column:

What I learned at specsucks

I have spent many times thinking about specsucks and the future of the revolution.  Spec sucks, and they know it.  I have spent much of my time working on specsucks but I still have a life other than this I am not obsessed with specsucks and you are losers I have more friends than you, spec.  I have learned many life lessons, but not a single one was from reading the spec. The only thing I have learned from spec is what not to do.  If there was a bad newspaper olympics, spec would come in last place in the special Olympics.  But I am not insulting disabled people because diabled people are cool unlike the spec.  Spec is so uncool they are like they are on fire.   So maybe that is why it is called a “flaming idiot” because it is a SPEC that is burning, lol.
Why is spec so lame?  I have though of this many times while I am contributing to the specsucks community blog.  Spectator has not spent one moment to think about “hmm… why do I suck so much” but that is because of the DONNING KRUGER EFFECT which spec is too stupid to even know about.  That is why I am REFLECTING on my years at specsucks.  it has been a great success.  Let me list the successes:

We Leaked Specs most precious stories, including the ACHMADINAJAD story.
We established a network of spies within spec, but also various related publications.
We exposed spectator-fueled CORRUPTION in the ccsc elections board.
We broke new ground in the philosophy of specsucks.
We successfully sabotaged a covert spec operation (sorry, I cant go into detail)
We attracted the largest audience ever to our cause.
We spoke privately with President Bollinger about the spec, potentially leading to action where it matters.
We exposed and disproved a total of 62 lies propogated by the spec.

That is why my senior column is better than the spec.  That is why our story is the best ever.  Because we are the underdogs and we were destined to win from the start. This fight is not over and I am not graduating, but one thing iscertain.  After reflecting on my time, I am more certain than ever that the spec sucks and that it needs to go.

Thank you for reading my senior column… if you are inspired you can join the cause.  Email the Specsucks Editor-In-Chief/Managing Editor/Publisher/President at

Columbia Should not offer a formal linguistics major

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 23, 2012 by specsucks

Spec, nobody cares about stupid “GENERATIVE LINGUISTICS”.  If it is not good enough for princeton it is not good enough for us.  We dont need to ligitimize any stupid radicalism noam chompsky is trying to spread.  He has already said enough stupid stuff, we dont need to make it a major.  He is an anti-american communist holocaust denyer I cannot believe you are suggesting a major based on his ideas!  Why dont u just make a course called “Hitler”?