uugghhh dumb spec writing is so dumb

I accidentally read the spec today and it is the worst thing ever.  There was one article which stood out to me about how dumb it was about a mexican restaurant.  Like really spec, now you are reviewing mexican restaurants.  And the writing is terrible, so it’s like a one two punch of badness, and in the ring of good taste, I’m on the ropes.

First, let’s start with the premise of this article

Local Mexican restaurant Papasito suffered a major blow in its ongoing feud with community members this month

A major feud huh?  This seems like it might be something interesting.  Maybe there are angry riots about it!  So, what does the owner of the place have to say about this angry feud?  maybe that the community should burn in hell?  That he doesn’t give two shits what the community has to say about him?

“Local neighbors have congratulated us…”, [the manager at Papasito] added

Yes.  Seriously.  You can’t make this up.  Spec is running articles about a feud…in which the two parties are congratulating each other.  Talk about yellow journalism…

Oh, but what’s this, spec says

has been the subject of seemingly constant complaints over the past year

Wow, so that’s constant complains. or, wait. no.  it’s not.  because you see, “constant complains” would mean that there were complaints coming throughout the entire year.  No no no, that’s not what the spec is talking about here.  They’re talking about “seemingly” constant complaints, i.e. “hey i m a specster and i don’t really know much about this so it seems constant to me!”.  Because what are those complaints that the spec has?

ranging from concerns over the rowdy behavior of its evening customers to violations for serving underage drinkers

Okay well first of all, that is only two complaints, and second of all, it seems that people are complaining… about it being a bar.  so your telling me that people get rowdy when they are drunk? tell me more! there is a bar near columbia serving underage people? hold the presses! Call the police!

so what’s the big deal?

But according to CB7 chair Mark Diller, it’s not clear whether the company that holds the restaurant’s liquor license is actually operating the business.

ooh, that might be interesting.  does the same company that owns the liquor license operate the business? it’s not clear! nobody knows! let’s read the next sentence

A company called Tokyo Pop LLC holds the liquor license, even though a different company, Papasito Midtown Corporation, operates the restaurant, Diller said,

Whoah! this guy knows the answer!  it’s “no”! but I thought it was unclear? He should tell the first guy you interviewed, because clearly that first guy was unclear about it, but this guy, this guy has all the facts!  So wait, who was that first guy again? Mark Diller? what.  seriously spec.

You’re just doing a bang up job quoting this guy, aren’t you.  How about some more quotes from him

Diller acknowledged that the lack of a liquor license might force Papasito to close.

Yup, you heard it straight from the source.  Apparently taking away the liquor license from an agave bar will force it to close!  you really are making this guy look like an einsten here.  Well, that’s not the limit of spec’s quoting abilities

“It’s a family-oriented neighborhood, so if there are fights, then they shouldn’t have their license,” Upper West Side resident Morgan Theves said. “People only go there to drink, that’s the bottom line—which is fine, but if they can’t control them,” they shouldn’t be serving alcohol, he said.

Did you notice that?  on first read , it seems Morgan Theves said that if they can’t control people, then they shouldn’t be serving alcohol.  But something’s strange.  isn’t that quotation mark in the wrong place? nope.  They got it right.  The quoted part is the only one he actually said.  Do you get what’s going on here?  spec  is using tricks of print to make it seem like he said they should be serving alcohol, but really, that’s not part of the quote.  He could have said anything.  All we know is that he said “but if they can’t control them”.  After that, he could have said “they should try harder to do so”, or any old thing.  What’s the matter? can’t get an actual quote?  Looking back at your notes “oh crap, I only have a partial quote, I guess I’ll have to make up what he said”.  Or maybe he said some variation which means the same thing, and you wanted it to fit the (terrible) grammar of your sentence?  well in that case, you’re still wrong. That’s what [brackets] are for.  This guy clearly doesn’t know english.

UPDATE:

ahahahahha, apparently this guy is british

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2 Responses to “uugghhh dumb spec writing is so dumb”

  1. >mfw britpoor reporter spilled tea and crumpets on his journal and had to use his monocle to make out what the quote was
    >he got it wrong

  2. […] so i have taken this guy down before (https://specsucks.wordpress.com/2012/10/27/uugghhh-dumb-spec-writing-is-so-dumb/) but obviously he didn’t get the message so it’s time to hit em with the uppercut like […]

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