specsucks personals

So apparently the big new thing is for so called “news” sources to have personals sections.  Obviously we aren’t that plebeian at specsucks.  Instead, we offer you a chance to date someone of power, The Dark Hand. Yes, that’s right, Mr. tall, DARK, and HANDsome is available for all  you ladies out there (and gents, he isn’t heteronormative).

Here is his profile:

Name: The Dark Hand
Gender: Male
Height: 6’7″ (approx)
Weight: 130 lbs
Occupation: Student, Anti-Spec activist
Major: Applied Physics/Gender Studies double major
Hobbies: Taking down the Spec, European Football, World of Warcraft
Skills: Solving differential equations, freestyle rapping, crocheting, electronic media propaganda
Blurb: Hi I am The Dark Hand.  I’m kind of a big deal around here.  You can call me TDH for short, although most people call me Liam Neeson, because that’s the name of my level 80 night-elf.  I just beat the Mists of Pandaria expansion so I’ve got some free time until Blizzard releases the next expansion.  Please, ladies, don’t be confused about what I’m looking for, my clan comes first. Every morning, I get up and bench 250. Then I take cold shower and start the morning right with a bowl of gorilla munch.  I’m really a sensitive guy, I enjoy costume parties and midnight walks around campfires.  I’m very passionate about quantum photonics, and I’m looking for a girl that I can bring home and cook pasta for every night.  Being able to beat me at Mario Party is a bonus.

Please contact thedarkhand0@gmail.com to arrange a date with this qt3.14159


2 Responses to “specsucks personals”

  1. *swoon*

  2. A future lover? Says:

    I practically peed in pants at that “tall, DARK, and HANDsome” joke. It’s as if you’ve been saving that all along.

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