speck is dumb

We know the Eye is the specster magazine which means it is a part of the spec and it sucks but it is good for starting campfires but that’s it. Well while I was stuffing my fireplace (which I have one in my dorm) I found this article and it suddenly made sense to me why the articles are so bad. It is because they are obviously written by 12-year-olds. Spec how can you claim to be mature college students WHEN YOU ARE PLAYING A GAME MADE FOR CHILDREN. That’s right, specsters are immature and they play kid’s games, unlike specsucks who are adult journalists working hard every day in bringing you the stories you care about and everything. Not only that but they lie in their articles, which is irresponsible when you are writing subject matter intended for children. For example, the author says “When we finally snagged the elusive Mew at the end of the Blue, Red, aellow games, we thought we were done.” Well EVERYONE knows that you can’t actually get Mew in Red, Blue and Yellow without a glitch or help from the game makers. So what spec is telling you is that you can only beat the game with cheating, so not only are they children BUT they are CHEATING CHILDREN, who are used to getting help from OUTSIDE SOURCES unlike specsucks which is entirely student run and does not get help from any outside sources like corrupt columbia officals.
The author goes on to prove that she has no idea what she is talking about by claiming pokemon number 583 vanillish is modeled after an ice cream cone. I have included a picture to show the truth to my loyal readers that vanillish is MOST DEFINANTELY NOT AN ICE CREAM CONE BUT AN ICICLE. If you even bothered to check your sources spec (unlike spec, specsucks checks our sources) you would see that vanillish’s speices type is icy snow pokemon and it also starts out with the move ‘icicle spear’ PROVING THAT IT IS AN ICICLE. HOW COULD AN ICE CREAM CONE KNOW ICICLE SPEAR!??!?  Besides, everyone knows that ice cream cones are delicious except for dumb specsters who are probably eating icicles instead, because not only are they children but their parents gave them icicles instead of ice cream. Wow I almost feel bad, but they are specsters so they cant tell the difference
The author proves her ignorance once and for all (as if you didn’t already know she writes for spec after all) when she says “these days most of us would rather spend our time napping internships and facebook likes then pocket monsters.” Wow spec why don’t you make more presumptions about how people like to spend their free time. Not all of us have facebooks or internships, may be we would rather play pokemon, but not with you spec, because you would probably try to trade your Rattata for our Zapdos and then try to tell us that Mew is hidden under the truck. WELL IT ISN’T I USED STRENGTH THERE AND THE TRUCK DOESN’T MOVE OK MEW ISN’T THERE???? spec is lies and full of them which is proof that spec is harmful just like abestos dont inhale spec

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One Response to “speck is dumb”

  1. Leroy Jenkins Says:

    I use to play Pokemon as a young child. It was an amazing game, it may have changed my life. However i am not a little kid anymore, I stopped being a little kid when there were 250 Pokemon. Assuming spec writers are a similar age to me, and not 6th graders they would not know of Pokemon as high a number as 583; this proves that they are children, or childish. As we know successful businesses are run by adults, not children. Most likely spec is not successful because they are run by children, not adults. For an unsuccessful business to remain financially independent for 50 years is literally impossible. That is why the spec is not financially independent, they are partially (if not entirely) funded by Columbia. Worst of all, they suck, the campus wastes your money on bringing you a bad newspaper, not education (which is exactly the opposite what universities are suppose to do). What we learn from this great specsucks article, (not funded by your tuition) with a few intellectual inferences, is that spec might as well be called “Children who are learning to beg for money they can never repay to make a bad paper, thus wasting the money you spent on education” (sort of like a country we have all heard of). Spec is so bad they are harming the University and us students who attend in hopes of a good education. These PINKOS will be released into the world, knowing nothing other than how to beg and cry, and cause America to fall, and loose all remnants of the great nation it once was. Spec has/will infect Columbia University, and The United States of America, we must bring down this corrupt organization before they bring down us! Down with the Spec!
    P.S. I would like to point out I intentionally left the word news out of the purposed name for spec, because they fail to accomplish their one true goal, delivering news via paper.

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