How many people has spec harmed?

we are better than spec.

the fact remains that specsucks is the best campus publication after years of competition nobody holds a candle to us in fact we hold a candle to spec literally burn spec burn.  that is why we are doing a back of the envelope calculation to determine how many people spec has harmed

so first we estimate the number of ways spec could harm somebody:

1. you could choce on spec if you tried to eat it

2. it could burn you if it is on fire (this happens a lot)

3.you could read spec and have an anurism.

4. you could read spec and die

5. You could be killed by working at spec

6. spec could kill you because you are meddling with their secrets

7. you could get kicked out of columbia by corrupt deans and then you cant get a job so you are forced to work as a homeless guy but nobody gives you change becuase you are too well groomed because you belive in hygene and so then it is cold in the winter and you die of hyperthermia because you do not have anywhere to live

8.  spec could be mashed into pulp and then reconstituted into rope fibers which are used to strangle you like the necklace in austen powers9. you could become depressed that spec exists and kill yourself

10. you could be a civillian casualty in the war on spec

11. you could be crushed by the printing press

12. you could crush up spec and snort it and then OD (spec does not make you high)

so that is 12 ways spec can kill you an dthis is just the back of the envelope.  so if there are 12 ways and 29,000 people who voted for specsucks that is 29,000 times 12 = 3480000 people who could be killed and then we see that spec is published 5 days out of the week which is NOT daily and they dont even publish on spring break so that is less than half the days of the year [1], so that is exactly 3480000 X 365 = 1270200000 but then X 2 because it is only half so 2540400000. So that is TWO AND A QUARTER BILLION PEOPLE AT LEAST WHO COULD BE HARMED BY SPEC which is almost half of the world population if spec was published every day then that would be everyone killed luckily not.  Of course this is just a rough back of the envelope calculation so please dont argue with the specific numbers it is just approximate if you dont know what we are talking about then take frontiers of science with emlynn hughes (he is cool).  Also this calculates the number of people killed by spec this doesnt count those maimed or psychologically traumatized.  For more acurate figures you can use advanced computer simulation which shows similar results confirming the back of our envelope.

photo

dont argue with science.

[1] Leroy Jenkins,comment on “good morning”, Specsucks, entry March 2,2013,https://specsucks.wordpress.com/2013/03/02/good-morning/#comment-1018 [accessed March 19,2013]

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3 Responses to “How many people has spec harmed?”

  1. The Dark Hand Says:

    I have had multiple items on this list happen to me, thankfully i am a trained professional. You can’t keep me down spect! Justice is coming for you!

  2. Not a Pinko Says:

    That’s one big envelope.

  3. Leroy Jenkins Says:

    One time the spec almost burrnedd me mwhn it was in fire, i butn the spec every time that i cam butn the spek it is so vad and i burntit

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