Archive for August, 2014

Happy birthday

Posted in Uncategorized on August 27, 2014 by specsucks

Happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you

Advertisements

Leaky Tip

Posted in Uncategorized on August 18, 2014 by specsucks

 

A tip was reported that after seeing spect staff walking the hallways of Mudd, the following birth control device was conspicuously left behind.

IMG_20140818_182527_344

 

IMG_20140818_182502_994

 

Please dont let them breed.

Bruno Mars Cancels bachanal

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on August 11, 2014 by specsucks

AFter the spec board foolhardedly cancelled Bruno marks expected appearance at the spec sucks 2014 rally Bachanal, as a pre-emtory move to discredit specsucks as a publication as predicted in the portents of the specsucks master blog (verse 3 chapter 13 post date may 2 2013) , our lord and savior was not pleased.   He released a thinly veiled dis-track toward the spec managerial board on the soundtrack for Rio 2.   Take a look at the verses

Look at her shinin’
Her feathers they glow
Now the jungle’s smiling
‘Cause our baby’s home
Can you feel what I feel?
The day has come at last
Our precious jewel has returned
I’ll be the first to say welcome back
Oh welcome back

I say welcome, welcome, welcome
Back

He opens with the line “Look at her shinin'”  a reference to the shine of precious metals accumulating in the spec’s bank account.  This contrasts with the double meaning  of shining, referring to shoe shining, a metaphor for the sucking up which the underlings in spec must do to gain their positions of power (in particular, this line is a biting criticism of Abrahams’ “shoe shining” she did to get elected by former dictator-for-life Roth)

After such an explosive opening line, he continue the extended metaphor for cash the spec is accumulating.  In the context of Rio 2, these lines are a bit confusing. Feathers do not shine or glow, barring genetically engineered luminescent bird which is okay if you don’t know about not everyone can study organic chemistry B-) (but we’ll save that topic for the specsucks “sience” issue ).  However, when we understand this second line as a continued metaphor for the “shining” coinage of the spec, and the wads of cash tossed in the air and floating down like “feathers”.  The adjective “glow”, which is traditionally interpreted as a positive glow in this song can be properly though of as a more menacing glow, like that of the eyes of a demon, or a masked figure (more on this later)

“Now the jungle’s smiling” he continues, ostensibly paying homage to the setting of Rio 2 (which is a jungle btw if you haven’t seen the movie).  But he obviously is really referring to the CONCRETE jungle aka NEW YORK CITY aka THE BIG APPLE.  and who is in new york city?  yes that is correct the columbia spectator.  And who is smiling?  Spec.  And why are they smiling?  we have to look at the next line to see.

“‘Cause our baby’s home” This is why spec is smiling.  Because their “baby” (obviously a reference to the rebellious group of bwoggers who attempted to split off from the spec mother-brood.  Bruno mars mocks specs rejoicing, because he knows that it’s just a phallic victory.

Now that bruno has set the stage, denouncing spec as money-grubbing throat-lickers, who rejoice over bacchanal board control, he brings the disses.

“Can you feel what I feel?” here he dimeans the specs op-int program as inferior to that of specsucks.  He has superior information to spec, and spec is essentially in the dark when they are messing with him.

“The day has come at last”  The “day” he is referring to, is of course the day in which he reveals his true power.  Spec has overstepped their bounds and he will put them in their place.

“Our precious jewel has returned” is actually an inside joke so I’m not going to explain it. #specsucks

“I’ll be the first to say welcome back”  Here he announces himself as the herald of the end-times,  in which the cloaked mask, destroyer of worlds, returns to reign havok upon spec scum and their snivvelling starbucks-slurping henchmen.    He not only welcomes the fall of spec, but reminds spec that he is welcoming it /back/, recalling the previous times spec was humiliated at the hands of their enemies [1] [2] [3][4][5]

“Oh welcome back
I say welcome, welcome, welcome
Back”

In these lines Bruno reveals himself to be a lyrical genious.  At first it seems like he is simply emphasizing the welcoming, repeating “welcome, welcome, welcome”, but then suddenly he strikes with the final word, a literal and metaphysical “stab in the back”.  That is to say, bachanal is no longer to his pleasing, so he will end it. The back itself is a reversal of tone in addition to meaning “reverse”, as in folding in on ones self.  Thus the sudden reversal of the predictable- unpredictable happy-angry joined-split axes all happen simultaneously, and synchonously with the self-explictation.  Bruno mars declares that he will undo that which has been done.  The shock of the final word is made manifest in the self-actualized declaration it has become.  Bacchanl shall be ended, and you shall suffer for your sins.
After this dis-track, many were amazed by his lyrical prowess, but even the most die-hard Mars fan was skeptical that he would deliver on his promise.  Not me.  I believed.  Bacchanal is no more.  Think upon your sins.  Also, stop raping people.  Seriously.
EDIT:HOOOOOOOLY SHIT BACK=BACK-ANAL=ANAL SEX=BACKANAL GETTING FUCKED OVER………..AND ALSO OVER=BACK SO ITS A METAPHOR FOR ITSELF  HOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT WHAT A FUCKING GOD.
[1]achmandiagate
[2]deantinezgate
[3]take5gate
[4]generative linguisticsgate
[5]coconutgate