specscum proganda speech LEAKED

Spec sucks is breaking more leaks. As you can see the speech from the deposed dictator:

http://imgur.com/a/bsoFo

Do not be deceived by the propaganda. spec says they speak truth to power, but they are not independent. Only specsucks is indpedet student run publication that speaks truth to power and takes down more deans.

We exposed the univeristiy’s attempt at covering up ilelgal hazing on the roof of low. I remember our editorial borad boldly endorsing emlyn hughes for dean of seas after froscanity. I remember our painfully honest disproof spec bieng daily.

I could spend hours, or mayy be even years telling you about how spec is not daily. We are holding spec and bwog and that dum lion blog that no body reads too accountable and fostering dialogue about how spec is not daily, independent or news. It’s what specsucks has always done as most prestigious truthblog on campus and we are only getting better at it. We are bulding a brand that says specsucsk until entire campus knows.

our digital presence is strong in Bwog comments and the twitter better than spec’s social media presence. we have over 150 wordpress followers that’s 150,000% increase from 1.

We publish high quality posts all the time better faster and strogner than spec. The feedback for our new dark look has been entirely dark which is remarkabel.

Whatever. IT was a dark year for specsucks and that’s how we like it when we are draggin specsters into the darkness.

NOW THAT IS HOW YOU WRITE A SPEECH TO IMPRESS KATIE COURIC (hey katie 😉 ) ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION? #specsucks

bwog bites the bait

http://bwog.com/2014/02/23/throwbacchanal-might-be-a-fiasco/

“We’ve heard this from a lot of sources, and it seems about right for Bacchanal”

and who might be tipping off those sources in the first place?  Checkmate, Bwog.

But when Bruno mars walks on the stage, don’t expect an apology from Bwog.  They’re too busy being spoonfed the next “rumour”. (hint: taylor swift 2015)

And why is it called throwbachannal anyways.  It sounds like someone who’s about to hurl.  Why can’t it be themed BachAnal for once, hire one of those nutjob music profs to perform classical music from his sphincter, and call it a day.

EDIT: or it could be a piece of performance art, ostensibly about cults, or like cults and sororities and like the patriarchy and, what the heck, anal sex too.

funny spec parody

hey guys i saw this really funny parody of a spec opinion piece. u should read it if u like the onion (which is a fake newspaper with funny articles)

click here for the funny article!!!!

bruno mars would give this two thumbs up!

i speak for the trees spec, who do you speak for?

so here is a SIMPLE question for you spec: HOW MANY MUST DIE FOR YOUR  ‘NEWS”PAPER?

i refer of course TO THE TRES. i speak for the TREES spec.

WHAT HAPPENT TO GREEN BUSINESS SMYK?

WHAT HAPPENT TO WEB FIRST STARTGEGY FIN?  AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT, WHERE ARE YOU FIN?  WHY ARENT YOU RETURNING MY CALLS?  WHO IS RUNNING SPEC NOW? DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW??

why do you kill so many trees for a paper that nobody reads ?  if i wanted to read it (which i don’t) then i would go on the INTERNET where i can read it, and i know you are going to say “what if you don’t have internet”, well in that case you are probably on the subway or something so if you never have internet access that means you are always on the subway, which means you are a BUM, so the newspaper would be good for you to make a bed well, well actually i guess this sort of makes sense never mind.

disgusting video filmed in butler

i like many other true blooded columbians, was browsing buzzfeed alpha aka bwog in anticipation of bruno mars coming to backanal to rock our sox off.   and i was shocked and repulsed by the video that i saw.

I was physically repulsed when I saw the complete disregard with which they treated not only dairy products, but also eggs and poultry.  nevermind the egregious health and safety standards violations, these people clearly have no concern for the harm they are doing to our kin-creatures, our bodies, and our environments.   The corpse of a chicken, a proud creature when alive, is presented as a trophy of the conquest of man over fowl, thrown without care across open skin and exposed mucus membranes (prime vectors for salmonella infections).  Would you look in the face of a chicken and tell him his people is being represented in a dignified manner?  would you look in the eye of a caged chicken confined to a 0.5 square meter cage, roided up on antibiotics,  pooping out eggs every tick of the clock of corporate machinery?  Would this chicken, who sweated hard in total darkness, to squeeze out one more menstrual dropping in hopes it would make the cutoff of productivity to postpone its inevitable trip to the slaughterhouse one more day, would this chicken even recognize a blue chicken, a sight truly abhorrent to nature.  Truly the epitome of privilege is to smear someone else’s hard-earned period over your genitals while simultaneously pouring someone elses hard-earned lactation over your mammary glands.  While those who truly have compassion would abstain from the purchase of such foods without paying the blood-price.  Even those with basic human decency would treat the act of eating the mechanically extracted liquid nourishment, or the roasted corpse of a fellow creature as a solemn affair, dictated by the grace of god towards man.  But nay, these foul humans relish in the opportunity to exploit the pool helpless chickens and not even becuz it tastes good.  I will leave the analysis of the racist themes of this video as an exercise for the reader.

In other news, sources report spec is a bunch of douchey guys, being douchey, and rubbing their dicks together.

Burno Marks performing at bacchanal

EXCLUSIVE SCOOP

this is an exclusive scoop which means we reported it first today is february 2 2/2/2014 the second day of the second month of the year two thousand and fourteen of our lord.  that is before anyyone else reported so we are exclusive scoop #1 in america.

after the super bowl bruno mars was super tired and so he went to get a cup of water because he was thirsty. and then he immediately made a personal call to the cloaked mask to give us the scoop that he is performing at bacchanal 2014.  that is right you heard it here first just like achmadinajad and every other scandal broken by specsucks when spec let you down.  too bad nobody will catch the grenade for spec.